CREATING POSSIBILITY FOR TRANSFORMATION

CREATING POSSIBILITY FOR TRANSFORMATION

By: Dr Harry Henshaw , Posted On: 2005-12-16

Transformational Counseling is about
assisting another to transform his life. Transforming ones life is not about
changing it. While life is much about doing differently, the genesis of the
transformation is about a person altering or transforming his belief or thought
of who he thinks he is.

We tend to believe that our life
is determined or influenced by people, places, things, situations and circumstance
and that who we are is the mere accumulation of our past experiences but this
is not so. Rather, it is our thoughts and beliefs that determine our experiences
and life and also that we are completely and solely responsible for their creation.
What we think and believe, especially about ourselves, determines our emotions
and behavior in the world and it is our behavior that merely validates what
we think and believe about ourselves. Furthermore, we believe or think that
we know who we are in life but the reality is that we truly do not. Much of
who we are really being we are simply not present to. Much of our life is spent
in pretense and who we are really being is hidden from us.

Given that much of our life is lived
in pretense, from the construct of ego, becoming present to that which is hidden,
to who we are being in life, is absolutely necessary for transformation. It
is in that which is primarily hidden from us that one will discover what is
determining ones life, referred to here as ones self-limiting belief. The first
component of the transformational process is for one to become present to the
hidden thoughts and beliefs that have been limiting him in life and in particular
to his self-limiting belief. It is in the being of the self-limiting belief
that one will discover the primary constraint or barrier to his life, to him
living a life that he loves and living it powerfully. We live life from who
we think we are. Who we think we are forms the context for our life. Having
the awareness or distinction of the self-limiting belief allows one the ability
to not be it, to not have his life be merely the probable almost certain future
from the past. Without the distinction of the self-limiting belief one will
continue to create his life from the backdrop of this ideational barrier and
as a result life will appear much as it did in the past.

Becoming present to that which has
been hidden, to that which has been truly determining his being in life, allows
one the opportunity to transform his life. Once one gets who he has been being
in life, the second component of transformative process is for the individual
to begin to create his life as a possibility. Once the distinction of the self-limiting
belief is gotten, the individual is now able to truly create a new possibility
for himself and his life. Getting the self-limiting belief creates the space
or an opening for a possibility or possibilities to be invented not as a result
or product of the barrier or constraint but from or out of nothing. It is only
from nothing that possibility can truly be created. As with the self-limiting
belief, possibility exists in language. Once one gets the language that he has
been being, that has defined and limited him through being his self-limiting
belief, it is at this point that he can begin to recreate himself through the
power of his word. Who we are is our word. In is in ones language or word created
out of nothing that one has access to possibility and transformation.

The technique described below is
designed to assist an individual in becoming present to his self-limiting belief
and in the process to create the space or opening for him to invent a possibility
or possibilities for recreating his life.

1. Find a relaxing and comfortable
space to sit in for approximately one hour. Arrange for this space to be free
of any distractions. Just allow yourself to begin to relax. Become present to
where and who you are. The use of therapeutic relaxation music can promote the
development of a very profound sense of relaxation to enhance this experience.

2. Take a notebook and begin to write
down everything that you believe describes or defines who you are. Let your
mind wander and do not try to filter or block out anything. Just let whatever
comes up about yourself, how you feel and what you think about yourself, to
be written down. Who you think you are or that which bests describes you may
appear in single words or short phrases. If in a group, share your description
of yourself with others. Furthermore, make two lists as there will appear to
be both positives and negatives aspects about who you think you are.

3. Sit your notebook down, close
your eyes and begin to relax deeply again. Again, the use of therapeutic relaxation
music will assist you in the process of creating a very deep state of relaxation.
As you begin to move into a deep state of relaxation allow yourself to begin
to drift back through time, back through your life, back through your adulthood,
adolescence and into your childhood. Allow yourself to become present to how
you were being, experiences, thoughts and feelings, through the various phases
or stages of your life. Just become present to or notice what appears for you.

4. Open your eyes and return to work
on your notebook. Take a look at what you have written and add anything that
you became present to about yourself during the above mentioned relaxation exercise.
Again, do not filter out anything but merely allow whatever there is to come
to the surface, both the positive and negative words that best describes who
you think and feel you are or were.

5. Once you have come to a completion
of creating the lists, both positive and negative, consider that the positives
of who you think yourself to be form the pretense of your life and that their
design or function is to fix the negatives of who you think you are.

6. Allow yourself to become present
to the negatives you have written down. Notice which one of the negatives best
describes who you are, what you commonly believe and feel about yourself, what
you have experienced in your mind in the past and even now. Declare the negative
aspect that is familiar to you to be your self-limiting belief.

7. Place your notebook in your lap.
Allow yourself to become fully present to the fact that what you have written
is you, is who you believe yourself to be. Become present to an inauthentic
way of being, the positive as pretense and the negatives as that which we hide
from ourselves and the world.

8. Place the notebook into your past.
If you are right handed place your notebook to your left. If you are left handed
place your notebook to your right. Place the notebook approximately three feet
from you.

9. Once you place your notebook into
your past allow yourself to become present to where your notebook is in relation
to your body, to your right or left. Allow yourself to again become present
to that which you have written in your notebook is who you believe you are and
that it exists to either your right or left.

10. Once you become present to who
you believe yourself to be, to the description of yourself as you have written,
allow yourself to become present to what now lies in front of you. Given that
who you think you are is either to your left or right, become present to what
exists in front of you is nothing, an opening from which everything and anything
is possible and can be created.

11. Inside the nothing that appears
in front of you, invent a possibility or possibilities for yourself and your
life. Declare your possibility in language or word, of who you will take on
being in life, for yourself. Furthermore, this declaration becomes your personal
affirmation of who you will be in and for the world.

12. Repeat this exercise everyday.
Repeating this exercise daily will allow one to continue to stay present to
his self limiting belief so as to not be it and also to the possibility or possibilities
that he has created and invented for himself and his life. Continuing this exercise
will also allow the further possible unveiling of the self-limiting belief.
The self-limiting belief that one initially becomes present to may reveal even
deeper meaning for who one is or has been being.

The exercise outlined above is about
the work of the first two components of Transformational Counseling and one
beginning the process of transformation. Once one gets the distinction of his
self-limiting belief and creates a possibility or possibilities for himself
and his life, the third component of transformation involves learning the process
of enrollment. Enrollment is a powerful technique for allowing one to stay living
into his possibility and out of his self-limiting belief. The fourth component
of transformation is about creating a daily plan. The daily plan allows one
the opportunity to continue to live into or generate his possibility in his
life on a daily basis. The fifth component of transformation involves a commitment
to stay in the conversation of transformation. It is in staying in the conversation
that one experiences the nonlinear nature of transformation thereby keeping
the process alive in his life.